my not so easy breastfeeding journey

alhamdulillah alisha mama macam tak percaya je alisha da 7 bulan 1 minggu macam baru smalam je mama lahirkan alisha alhamdulillah syukur sampai tarikh hari ni masih ade rezeki alisha untuk breastfeed mama nak tulis kat sini supaya nnt one day mama bole ingat balik kenangan susukan alisha and alisha pun bole tahu our breastfeeding journey since alisha dilahirkan secara caesearean i could not immediately breastfed u in the OT alhamdulillah bersalin kat hospital putrajaya d nurses still buat skin to skin contact immediately after u were born nurse smpat letak alisha atas dada mama d anesth dr help me to hold u then i guess it took about almost 1 and a half hour baru mama dpt jmpa balik alisha masuk je bilik mama namapak daddy pegang alisha and that was d first time i got to breastfed u syg alisha pandai sgt hisap eventhough i noe initially nothing came out it wasnt easy as theory mama tau d theory susu x kan memancut keluar d initial phase will be just colostrum but i was worried too coz u will cry sbb lapar initial part wasnt that good coz i have flat nipple nasib baik nurse ajar tarik guna syringe then i saw my colostrum it was yellowish in colour dats my golden milk alhamdulillah alisha dpt syg tq aunty fateen bg pinjam nursing pillow dia it was very helpful smpai la ni mama guna i decided to breastfed u with footbal position of course la mendapat reaksi pelik from elderly and d others masa tu almost hourly alisha akan cry for susu sorry sgt due to my lack of knowledge..i should have identify ur cues and not waiting for ur cry daddy was very helful though malam tu mama muntah teruk side effect of morphine i guess so daddy byk tlg pegang alisha while i breastfed u sbb kdg2 mama tertdo it was all good..until d 3rd day when we got home balik rumah..maybe due to the new environment alisha start menangis mcm lapar je masa tu maybe my milk productiion maybe slow i was pushed by the elderly to give u plain water and formula milkk!!!\ of course i refused sayang mama da niat nak exclusive breastfeed alisha for at least 6 months it was very stressful due to my lack of knowledge mama x tau i should pump out d milk before it become engorged too bad my breast engorged and my nipple start to crack i guess it was due to improper attachment so malam tu mmg stress alisha keep nanges mama sakit nipple sbb crack and my breast was super engorged n hard like a rock malam tu around 12 midnight baru la terhegeh2 nak bukak pump rumble tuff dat i bought 3 months before tgh2 malam tu la baru daddy baca manual it was very stressful alisha nampak lapar lapar sgt mama try pump out tp obviously sakittt sgt muka mama stress muka daddy lg stress daddy keep on pushing me untuk belikan alisha susu formula at least to make u settle i was so emotional i refused n insist not to give u formula milk tp cmne mama nak tahan ble dengar alisha nampak kelaparan alisha x le tdo we both lg la stress daddy slow talk lg suro beli susu formula and finally mama mengalah and around 2 am daddy keluar beli susu kat 7 eleven daddy blk bwk blk susu lactogen ( mama sedey sgt sedey sgt2 nampak susu formula tu i feel useless n helpless sedey sgt masa tgk daddy bg alisha minum formula milk mama menangis dlm tidur but at d same time it makes u settled so mama pujuk hati ckp xpe la it was for ur own good esk pagi mama nekad mama nak bg alisha breastfeed lg and no more formula milk eventhough sakit nipple crack mama try gak bg alhamdulillah maksu tukang urut dtg maksu tlg urut breast mama n sikat n then start nampak susu memancut keluar nampak je susu tu mama confident balik alhamdulillah alisha dpt menyusu tp in between the elderly still insist suro bg air kosong la air zam2 la untuk legakan tekak alisha still insist and dia starts to give u water air zam2 again i become emotional tp again ble mama pk blk x pela air zam2 kan syg it wasnt harm u if bg sket2 in between it was all good i started to feel comfortable breastfeeding u but again nature of breastmilk it is easily digested and will make u hungry faster so alisha akan menysuu almost hourly and again dia ckp alisha x kenyang susu mama x de susu mama xde zat sbb mama makan ikan je n ask to top up with formula milk i swear it make me so stress nasib baik ade tokma n maksu it was difficult but mama x menyerah mama buat pekak je ble suro bagi air mama letak je dlm botol buat2 bg alisha tp alisha pun refuse mama yakin mama ade cukup susu untuk alisha and alhamdulillah u gained weight smpai jadi bam2 and akhirnya dia stop tp mama mintak maaf due to my lack of knowwledge n kemalasan melampau mama x buat pun stok masa pantang sbb masa tu mama rasa penat alisha menyusu almost hourly mama mcm x smpat nak pam mama ingat mama kan cuti menyusu 2 bulan and dat time my target was exclusively breastfeed for 6 months tu kesilapan mama mama sepatutnya niat dan pk jauh mama nak susukan alisha smpai 2 tahun insyaallah problem started ble mama da start kerja with no ebm stok and masa tu pam pun x dpt banyak mama mmg kais pagi makan pagi kais ptg makan ptg utk kumpul susu alisha mama sedey sgt masa tu alisha da start minum byk nasib baik gak rumah dgn klnk dekat so tgh dpt blk direct feed alisha alhamdulillah rezeki alisha dpt menyusu penuh for 6 months so my initial mission accomplished to at least breastfeed u for 6 months tp ade one point after 6 months u already start ur solid food i got my menses then my nightmare starts ade satu tahap mama pam2 dpt dlm 1 oz or bwh lantai botol je sedey sgt tokma da stres22 suro mama pam mama stress it wasnt easy kena bgn malam nak pam basuh part pump tu sterilize ble time keje kena curi2 keluar jap g pam time pg n ptg lg stress lg susu x mo keluar until one day tokma kata alisha mcm lapar and by then i noe maybe i need to starts u with formula to top up sedey sgt masa tu mama pg kt kedai speedmart sek 7 lama mama tgk rak susu tu smua mama tak tau which formula milk yg sebagus my breastmilk utk bg alisha menggigil mama masa tus shaky sgt last2 mama bli s-26 sbb susu tu anak sheikh muzafar n dr harlina minum tu haha blk bg tokma simpan in case kalau susu mama mmg x de lusanya susu mama mmg drop chilled ebm tu smua alisha abeskan so tokma terpaksa buatkan alisha fm tu sedey allah je yg tau mama masa tu rasa bersalah sgt nape la mama x buat stok awal2 tp again if it makes u settled mama x le selfish at least alisha x lapar tp lepas tu alisha muntah alisha muntah keluar smua susu sedey sgt masa tu mama try mcm2 usaha pam jugak utk byk kan susu ade tp still x bape cukup so tokma n tokpa try bli susu snow plak mana tau alisha nak kan tp alisha pandai sgt tokma kata ble rasa susu snow tu alisha tutup mulut rapat x nak minum hehe..pandai tau sayang mama ni memilih yg terbaik dr ladang!!! so mcm2 usaha nak bykkan susu tokma rebuskan air longan beli kat sengseh smpai nak muntah mama minum tokma belikan durian sb somehow mama rasa durian is my milk booster tokma beli pegaga lobak putih alhamdulillah im back on track susu mama kembali ada not much but enough for u mama doa sgt2 allah beri rezeki mama utk susukan alisha smpai 2 tahun it wasnt easy journey kita jauh lg tp mama nak alisha tau mama cuba yg terbaik utk bg alisha yg terbaik insyaallah salam sayang, mama

Alisha Safiya

Alhamdulillah syukur sgt baby Diam x diam da hari ke 30 da mama berpantang dengan alisha Rasa macam baru sgt mama kena push masuk OT sebulan yg lepas Since da decide mama kena deliver alisha via caesearean so mula2 tu mmg x neves sgt Mama kena admit on 24 march nite tu Daady tokpa n tokma teman hantar mama pergi hospital putrajaya Alhamdulillah dapat single room under executive ward Bilik selesa Malam tu daddy temankan mama On 25th march 2013 around kul 2pm nurse masuk suro get ready nak push to OT Time ni baru mama rasa nervous sket Then bila da duduk atas stretcher kena push tu dup dap dup dap Masa ni drama sket sbb tokma and tokpa lambat smpai Mama nak jmpa dorg before masuk ot Nasib baik smpat Smpai depan pintu ot ngam2 gak tokpa smpat smpai Masa ni tba2 mama sebak Masa salam ngn daddy tokma and tokpa Dada mama macam nak pecah Mix feeling takut sedey excited Tak kata apa2 pun Then lepas tu dorg kena kuar Mama kena tnggu jap kat recovery bay around 15mins Masa ni baca doa2 pendek n selawat And mama ternanges sket Then masanya telah tb masuk ot namapk dr hamidah and ada anesth Nasib baik anesth mo and specialist mcm baik Duk cte2 and sembang ngn mama so xde la cuak sgt Mama kena spinal 2 kali kena cucuk Sakit sket je Pastu cm rasa kaki kebas Cuak ok mama time tu 1st time la katakan Dari cermin lampu mama nampak dr hamidah berusaha keluarkan awk And skejap around 3.31pm tbe2 mama da dpt dgr tangisan awk Masa tu tbe2 je air mata mama berlinangan Sebak happy macam2 mama rasa Anaesth mo tlg kesatkan air mata mama And nurse tunjukkan alisha dekat mama letakkan alisha kat mama and try bf kejap je then dorg bwk awk kuar Mama tak tau pukul bape tp after letak mama kat recovery bay skjap Mama dihantar balik ke bilik Masa smpai je kat wad mama nampak daddy tokma tokpa kak farah tokcik and tok aji Smua tunggu mama And right there mama nampak awk alisha Nanges kelaparan So cute Daddy kiss mama and mama pegang alisha I was so happy And was in pain too tp d spinal effect still there so it was okay Since pregnant mama memang da niat nak fully breastfeed alisha Alisha pandai sgt sucking nurse tlg ajar mama macam mana nak breastfeed It was not easy but we survived sayang Malam tu mama muntah 2 kali And gatal sgt muka kaki tangan badan It was d morphine effect Dat night slowly d spinal effect hilang I started to feel d pain And it was not easy to bf in my condition Daddy was being great and helpful Teman mama d whole night helping me handling u And for the record ur first poo at 6am tu daddy yg cuci It was really cute Mama ingat lagi muka daddy helpless je basuh berak alisha Semua macam baru je jadi A lot has happened d past 1 month I was weak but get stronger day by day with u beside me syg Its a long journey Parenthood ni memang mencabar but insyallah both daddy and mama will try our best Btw daddy yg pilih nama alisha Alisha Safiya Alisha = protected by god Safiya = virtous lady mama doa sangat Allah izinkan mama untuk breastfeed alisha selama yg mampu Moga Allah permudahkan perjalanan penyusuan ibu untuk alisha Moga daddy sentiasa berikan mama sokongan dan back up mama utk susukan alisha Semoga mama kuat and tabah hadapi segala cabaran untuk susukan alisha Amin insyaallah Love. Mama Umah tokma

Dear baby

Assalammualaikum baby mama and daddy
Both of us tak saba sgt nak jumpa awk esk
Mama tgh type ni kat atas katil hosp ni
Last 2 week our routine follow up dr hamidah noted u r still breech and afi awk kurang
Jadinya dr hamidah bg mama homerest mc kat rumah with strict fetal movement chart
Both of us were quite relieved to get d mc. Mama trauma sgt sbb aritu tayar kereta flat and meletop kat highway.
Both mama and daddy tok ma tok pa and everyone doa and try usaha supaya awk pusing and air ketuban makin banyak.
Mama kena minum air kelapa. G jmpa dua makcik mntk die pegangkan perut.
But HE knows best. He decides it is best for u to be delivered via elective caesearean section.
So here am i...waiting anxiously ditemani daddy. Tq so much daddy. Teman mama tepaksa daddy tdo kat sofa..suapkan mama nasi beriani maktok yg sedap. Makan mc d tok ma n tok pa bawak. Actually kalau nak fikir2 mama sedey sangat mula2 ble kena decide caesear.. Ye la mama if bole nak rasa pengalaman bersalin normal..tp takpela sayang both mama and daddy redha dan doa semoga dipermudahkan esk.
Dear baby..mama harap mama and daddy mampu besarkan awk and cuba jadi parents yg terbaik utk sayang k. Mama doa sgt mama diberi kekuatan utk susukan awk fully breastfeeding. Insyaallah. Last week doc hamidah scan berat awk br 2.8kg.. So we will see tomorrow.. Mama x saba sgt nak.hug and kiss syg... Moga kita sama2 dipermudahkan sayang.

entering my 31 weeks

assalammualaikum baby mama
baby mama tgh golek2 dalam perut mama tu ye sayang.
daddy n mama happy sgt tgk sayang membesar bagai juara... dr ckp syg da seberat 1.8kg. hehe alhamdulillah smua nampak ok. td first time daddy n mama g check up kat putrajaya. insyaallah we all da decide nak deliver syg under fpp program sana. mudah2an dpt la dr hamidah smbut kan syg. as a gov servant..mama yakin perkhidmatan gov ni bgs nak compare ngn private... mostly private ni money oriented. tp gov ni saba je la kan... td we all waited for 2 hours just to be seen around 5 mins. x pe la kan... asalkan baby sihat alhamdulillah. cumanya masa scan td sayang duk kepala kat atas ye? best ke golek2 dlm perut mama ni syg? meh la pusing blk k syg. hopefully baby mama ni akan pusing blk turun nnt ye. insyaallah.
syg duk baik3 dalam perut mama k... mama doakan syg membesar dgn sihat dan dipermudahkan utk mama smuanya. insyaallah

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entering my 3rd trimester

assalammualaikum baby mama...alhamdulillah arini syg da makin besar...arini syg da masuk 28minggu teman mama dlm perut mama ni. cam tak caye mama da bwk awk 7 bulan. kt da sama2 nak masuk 3rd trimester sayang. mama nervous. seriyes!!! mama da mula fikir pasal delivery..mama da tepk pasal kena ve pasal episiotomy. wuuu...cuaknya... takut nye nak kena seluk2...hopefully nnt kena slow2 je.. alhamdulillah mama syukur sgt..spanjang syg teman mama ni..syg membesar dgn sihat..xde buat mama sakit...cuma mama sakit belakang je sket... i just hope daddy is here all d time with us. so dat daddy leh tlg picit mama ari2 daddy pengurut yg hebat. lega sgt pas daddy tlg urut. and mama skang cpat mengah sket. ckp sket jalan sket da mengah.. otherwise u hv been very good my little baby.. mama rasa sgt happy dgn aksi akrobatik manja awk syg. syg tq for being always here with me syg...at times i am lonely coz daddy not around. but u r always here rite inside me syg.. mama n daddy love u so much... cant wait to see u syg.. mudah2an our journey akan dipermudahkan. :-)

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